The crazy security guy (*not actual guy)
Another thing that people may not describe often enough is the greeting process in Japan. Perhaps the fervor with which it is undertaken, as well as the frequency.
It seems from my small time here – and perhaps my impressions will change over time – there is a need to greet everyone, more than once! At work this includes everyone who walks in the door in the morning, they will give a short and low ‘goziemas’ which I can only assume is a shortening of the full ‘ohiyo goziemas’. The response comes from every row and every person as they walk by to their desk – another ‘goziemas’. When it comes to me of course there is a polite “good morning”. To which I naturally respond. The more senior the person, the more clearly enunciated the responses are, even if their initial ‘marco’ call is more mumbled and disinterested sounding (this of course is a generalization and I’m only guessing in part, but it seems to work well enough for this story!).
Each entrance to my work building is also flanked by a welcomer and a security guard. This is perhaps a little overkill given that there are security gates that one must swipe through to enter, much like the subway system. But the security guards and greeters also feel the urge – or perhaps are compelled to – welcome everyone in the morning with a clear and unambiguous “ohiyo goziemas” (why is it the more junior you are the louder and clearer your use of the language needs to be?!). This is disconcerting most morning because you just don’t know where to look to respond, do I respond with a nod to the security guard on my right, or do I respond with a nod to the greeter on my left? I’ll look like a circus clown spinning my head with my mouth open if I try both! And just to add another level of difficulty to the conundrum you have at the same time the need to be swiping your card and navigating the gates. A wrong move and the reader doesn’t read and you’re slamming into the gates!
Its like a obstacle course of some kind I think: left, nod, forward, swipe, right, nod, forward, gates PASS! You make work today. Perhaps it’s cheaper and quicker and easier then breath-testing people randomly like my old work. If you’ve had a morning tipple there is no way your getting through.
Twice though they have thrown a curve ball at me. And the first time I failed the test, flailing around like a penguin trying to play a piano. I am coming in, my first quick examination of my surroundings (critical in any battle scenario – discover channel) identifies that the greeter and the security guard have swapped sides! Oh no! who is going to talk first?! Is it going to be the greeter as per usual or the person on the left as per usual?! Dam this is going to be tricky! I decide to just go in and run on instinct, as soon as I hear a sound I’ll turn to that person and start the cycle, side, node, forward, swipe etc …
I slowly approach – well as slow as you can when you are flanked by another 20 odd people also approaching the entrance as you do – and then I hear the little voice of the greeter start her good morning. I’m set, it’s the right, I’m to pull to the right, on instinct my head starts to turn and I’m about to start the cycle when all of a sudden out of no where like a howitzer going off on my left flank the security guard cuts her off with a loud and booming “OHIYO GOZIEMAS!!!!” Instincts fail me, the person randomly shouting at me from the left gets me all confused and it’s a classic “ahhh what seems to be the problem officer” situation.
It leads one to think what in the hell would someone in Australia do if off to their left as they walked into the office at work, not more then a metre or so from you someone takes a bloody great big deep breath and yells GOOODDD MORRRNNIINNGGGG!!!!!!”
You’d either go into fight or flight mode, jumping the gates or flattening the so-and-so with a vicious right hook is what you’d do!
Also you can kiss goodbye a stealthy exit fro the office. You might not even know who people are (though granted I do stick out a little I think so maybe they remember who I am) but they will all start saying goodbye to you as you walk out.
This greeting process is found in every aspect of your life here where there is service. Actually is an amazing service experience type of country. Ironically it is also a country and doesn’t tip (absolutely doesn’t tip) so for once you are getting meticulous service and you can’t offer a tip as recognition for it. Though some of the more western style places will place a 10% or 20% ‘service charge’ on their dinner service as a way of getting some more cash out of you. Crazy considering the level of service you get anywhere really.
But on your arrival you will also get a Irasshaimase! and a bow. Basically it means “welcome we are happy to serve you” I understand. So as you walk in and get taken to your table as you pass anyone that works at the place they will stop and say Irasshaimase! Lets not forget that when you also go to the grocery store they will do the same thing, walk around they will stop and next to you and go Irasshaimase! Perhaps moreso the couple of places we often visit because they are smaller, boutique type grocery places that you generally find in the more expensive areas… which we just happened to end up in (who can blame someone, you find a nice place you just go for it before someone tells you your living in the most expensive city (Minato) in all of Japan).
Some of them can be a little over the top though for your average quiet western type that is used to a more quiet dinning experience. One place that we go to has an open kitchen. It is an ‘all chicken’ type of place. Probably the name says “anything you want to eat as long as it has chicken” for all we know. We just found out looking at the photos of the food it all has chicken! (it by the way has the most amazing fried chicken that tastes just like KFC! The good Cnl Sanders might have had a secret mix of ‘erbs and spices, but he stole it from like every other chicken restaurant inJapanI think – someone look into if he ever travelled here would you). Anyway, the kitchen is open. As you walk by the chefs all give a loud and proud Irasshaimase! for you as your taken to your seat. They do this for everyone that comes into the restaurant. For me, given I can barely understand what is being said, and the general sound of the language still doesn’t trigger my brain to think ‘someone is talking you need to listen” its pretty easy to tune out to it, and it just becomes part of the atmosphere. And it is an atmosphere which I really end up liking – definitely makes you feel like your having a good time and enjoying the meal is something that is very important to the team.
However I always end up thinking, what on earth out this be like if it happened in theUSorAustralia? What would happen if someone in the kitchen sees you walking by to your table and at the top of their lungs yells at you “WELCOME, ENJOY YOURSELF!” … I’m not sure most of us would know what to say. Then what would you think when your eating your meal and njoying your lunch and there is an endless stream of “WELCOME” , “WELCOME” coming from over your shoulder in the kitchen. Probably would start ticking you off!
So strange how something that would be an annoyance in one experience ends but being thoroughly enjoyable and adding to the experience in another.
At the table having lunch you can ignore it, but I am still to figure out what I do with the people in the grocery store constantly saying Irasshaimase! every time I walk by. What is worse is that I can’t read the labels to save myself so I am up and down the isles for 10 minutes looking for each thing. If I were dropping bread crumbs I’d have whole loafs in pieces in each isle. So the constant Irasshaimase! Irasshaimase! Irasshaimase! as I walk back to the isle again is unnerving. I get the feeling another couple of trips down the same isle and I’ll be getting a “your welcome is wearing thing mate” instead of the “welcome”.
Everyone has a different style to, some are proud and assertive with a very bold “welcome”, others kind of sneak up on your, slide by next to you and whisper this little Irasshaimase!I don’t know if that kind of welcome is appropriate in a grocery store is it?!
Again, I’m back with the Australian/US experience, what is you were in Coles or King Supers when out of no-where someone slides right up next to you and in a low and quit voice goes “hey, welcome”. You’d deck them is what you’d do!
Just another one of those quirks you get to deal with!
An Aussie In Japan 